Push Back

Brad, my fencing buddy, has a habit of wrapping the hilt of his epee around the hilt of mine, and trying to win by sheer, brute force. Naturally, this just pisses me off. Now, let me say, Brad is the nicest and most mild mannered guy you will ever meet. Every muscle in my fencing arm is getting stronger just by fencing him regularly, and sometimes we end up laughing too hard to fence. Because here's the thing: Brad is predictable in his approach. I know what he is going try, he will try to overpower me. And when he does this, I am predictable in what I will do. I will give push back. Count on it.

I find it hard to disengage my weapon - in fencing, and in life. If I could more reliably disengage, I would not have to pit my brute force against his brute force, and could probably use more strategy. Instead, I find myself caught in a battle of wills and weapons, which I sometimes win, sometimes lose. Once I realize I cannot disengage my weapon, I use aggressive footwork to back him off the strip, thrashing and stomping. If I'm going down, I'm going down fighting. It's in my nature. I've never understood the people who just sit and cower. But I do understand strategy. I just wish I was better at it.

In my work, this lesson is very immediate. I set my boundaries firmly with co-workers, how many patients I will see, when I will see them, and what my limits are. I make it clear, no one has to guess. Nothing personal, just business. With patients, it has to be personal, and I have to adjust my pressure. When you are working with someone's body, it is a natural reaction for their body to press back against yours. For every action, an equal and opposite reaction. Push me, I push you. When I lighten up, they lighten up, and they can stand straighter, move better. A good physical therapist learns this lesson early and well: a light touch on a body and it will do anything you want it to do.

I think I just figured out how to beat Brad.